Wednesday, 31 October 2012


Treat me bad!

Treat me nice, i cant work out what it means.

Make me hate you, for it would be a whole lot easier for me.

Breathe in water,
B. Disgrace

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Kadang tu i was afraid of being me. Im afraid if i ever i said too much, spoke too much, it will only pushes you away from me.

Sometimes, i find it hard, expressing myself. Im afraid what would you think of me later then.

Kadang tu, i tweeted and i deleted the tweets back. Because i hold on to Konot's words to me. Dia kata major turn off kalau perempuan tu suka mencarut. Weck pun pernah cakap, "kau maki hamun dalam post kau, nanti org ingat kau perempuan murahan".

At the same time, everyday i wish that i would change myself. The fact that, bila marah, jangan mencarut straightaway. Istighfar. Deep breath. Namun, bisikan syaitan gak menguasai aku. You know, ustaz kata, syaitan paling senang nak pengaruhi org mukmin time dia tgh marahlah. Masa perasaan marah tu membuak-buak.

Rasa kerdil di sisi Allah bila fikir. Iman rapuh.

Takpalah. This is me. Walaupun im so positive that youre with or into someone so much right now, i am tired of doing all the efforts.

But you must realise the fact that for most women, decision yang diorang buat sangat bergantung dgn emosi diorang waktu tu.


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