Wednesday, 26 December 2012
Fate and destiny.
1) I chose not to be in science stream class. Fated. If i was to be a science stream student in 2000, I may not have been friends with Nairus, Najjah, Hanie, and other Muadzam's friends.
2) If I studied science, and did well, i may now become a doctor just like my bestfriend. I would probably fail as a doctor, for the fact that i get damn exhausted easily. Being a doctor would make me die faster. Haha. Again, Allah knows what's the best for me.
3) Wrongly took up the educational degree. Haha. I think I am destined to be an educator. I can feel it!
4) To be brokenhearted just about the same time as my bestfriend. Fated. It brought us closer just like the old times. Though we're busy with our career, we still managed to try and find a little time for each other. We talk almost everyday of the week just like when we're apart while doing our tertiary study.
I dont know. I am still trying to be a good Muslim. Still trying hard to be one. I am far from perfection. I give up hope and faith sometimes when faced by obstacles. But im glad i have friends on my side who always keep me on the right track again.
I believe that there are reasons for every single thing that had happened or is happening or going to happen in my life. He made the best plan for all of His servant. Allahuakbar. Only He knows what the reasons are.
I know there'll be a better future ahead of me. InsyaAllah.
Monday, 10 December 2012
Babble Inc.
Oh, yes. Memang complicated. Kena baca perlahan-lahan.
Tapi tulah dia. I kinda sensed something from the posts. Something that is not good. Like someone who's not supposed to be there was there. Times two.
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Bila
Tiada apa yang perlu dibuai tinggi dengan harapan untuk lebih kurang 100 hari kemudian dari masa hadapan.
Jangan harap. Jangan pernah bermimpi sebab kau pun harus sudah sedia maklum—mimpi itu terlalu indah.
You dont serve Him good enough. Jadi, apa perlu meninggi harap?
Lanjut.
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Saturday, 1 December 2012
Tanda-tanda Kiamat
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Tuesday, 27 November 2012
Lelah.
Jadi, hadap. Dan senyum sajalah!
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Monday, 26 November 2012
Deklarasi
Ranap.
Jatuh.
Namun tidak bergraviti.
Syukur.
Rasa rapuh yang cuma sehama.
Perhiasan kaca retak.
Bentuk hati.
Berhabuk.
Peluntur.
Melunturkan.
Kuman.
Jangkit.
Sakit.
Hampir.
Bangkit.
Kuat.
Bangun.
Berdiri.
Bertongkat realiti.
Masa-masa lampau.
Terekfleksikan.
Panggung.
Berputar.
Percuma tak berbayar.
Pergi jauh.
Tak mampu.
Pahit.
Wajib telan.
Kasut sendiri.
Pakai.
Gendong seorang.
Berat.
Sakit.
Pikul.
Kuat.
Jatuh.
Bangun.
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Wednesday, 21 November 2012
_nv_
They will.
Eventually.
Live.
:)
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Sunday, 18 November 2012
Siri bercakap dengan diri sendiri (tidak berjilid)
Aku cukup xpaham diri aku sendiri.
Lagi, kenapa dugaan tu lantas-lantas je tak semena-mena?
Mmg mencabar.
Lemahnyelahai.
Sape je pon yg kau nak hambakan diri kau tu? Dia takde perasaan pon. Tak lut langsung. Mcm eh kau takde pon oksigen jugak aku sedut hari-hari. Bukan tetiba bau gas bromin.
Eh. Sungguh aku xpahamlah diri aku ni. Ape je yg die ade wei? Ya Allah. Eh. Wake up lah wei. Wake up.
Kalau kau taknak hidup kau ranap kemudian hari, baik kau sedar cepat-cepat. Baik skrg dr nanti. Pilihan kat kau. Every consequences kau tanggung sendiri. Sorang. Takde sape nak bagi bahu.
Not even your bestfriend. Bukan mak kau. Bukan sape2. Kau.
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Wednesday, 31 October 2012
X
Treat me nice, i cant work out what it means.
Make me hate you, for it would be a whole lot easier for me.
Breathe in water,
B. Disgrace
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+
Sometimes, i find it hard, expressing myself. Im afraid what would you think of me later then.
Kadang tu, i tweeted and i deleted the tweets back. Because i hold on to Konot's words to me. Dia kata major turn off kalau perempuan tu suka mencarut. Weck pun pernah cakap, "kau maki hamun dalam post kau, nanti org ingat kau perempuan murahan".
At the same time, everyday i wish that i would change myself. The fact that, bila marah, jangan mencarut straightaway. Istighfar. Deep breath. Namun, bisikan syaitan gak menguasai aku. You know, ustaz kata, syaitan paling senang nak pengaruhi org mukmin time dia tgh marahlah. Masa perasaan marah tu membuak-buak.
Rasa kerdil di sisi Allah bila fikir. Iman rapuh.
Takpalah. This is me. Walaupun im so positive that youre with or into someone so much right now, i am tired of doing all the efforts.
But you must realise the fact that for most women, decision yang diorang buat sangat bergantung dgn emosi diorang waktu tu.
Sekian.
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Tuesday, 25 September 2012
Doa, Takdir, Sebab.
Now Nadia kau nak persoalkan takdir Allah? Qada dan qadar?
Tak, aku just rasa kenapa contoh2 semua berlaku kat sekeliling aku je? Dan bukannya pada aku? Kenapa?
Sebab? Aku nak tau sebab?
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Wednesday, 19 September 2012
Through.
You're no longer a period.
To her, now, you're just like everybody else.
Washed and unseen.
B. Disgrace
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Derogatory.
Slides.
B. Disgrace
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Wednesday, 1 August 2012
Nine to Ten
I wish i could stop and leave. Go on. By myself again like last year's September and back.
But i just can't. It's not that easy.
Well yea, maybe i should try HARDER. To leave.
Grounded by heart.
B. Disgrace.
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Thursday, 5 July 2012
Why Argue?
Look, there's always two sides of a coin.
Reality check - in some cases, we; males and females, think differently. Bear it! Live with it.. Stop arguing. Work things out. Creatively. Hmm~
Okay, i must admit that i, myself, have had, at times, feel kinda hurt by what my guy does, but yes, life aint gonna be easy for us at all time.
Cheers!
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Tuesday, 19 June 2012
I got that.
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Wednesday, 9 May 2012
I is..
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Jatuh.
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Tuesday, 24 April 2012
Stay.
I will be holding on these words until next year.
Sekian, terima kasih.
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Saturday, 10 March 2012
Kecewa.
Lab test untuk Soil Mechanics clash dengan wedding Reggy.
Speechless.
Sangat!
Hoi! Aku yang terlebih excited kot bila tau dia nak kahwin! I volunteered myself to run 2 tasks for her wedding and I prepared the reception song list! Tak habis excited lagi ke tu kau rasa?
Yang OUM ni pulak, nak keluar apa-apa timetable terhegeh-hegeh. Lembab nak mati. Ok, I know it wont change a thing pun kalau timetable untuk lab tu keluar awal. It's not like Reggy boleh sukahati nak tukar wedding date dia just sebab aku kena attend class/lab test/exam. Tapi at least, takdalah aku memberi harapan palsu kat kawan-kawan semua.
Aku dah beli clutch kot untuk wedding tu! Nasib baik tak jadi tempah baju sebab money constraint bulan ni. Kalau aku tempah, memang aku berkali-kali ganda frust.
Ok, aku sedih tak dapat attend reception dia. Dahlah nikah day pun aku kena kerja. Pathetic gila. Aku apply cuti sebulan awal kot. Sejak kerja shift ni mana sempat nak lepak-lepak catch up dengan kawan-kawan sangat. I dont even have the time for my own tau. Kuku pun potong kat office masa system down. Gila kan. It's too tiring. Kerja kena duduk je depan pc macam bercinta dengan monitor tu.
Lagi, aku rasa bersalah kat Reggy. Reggy mesti sedih. Sebab aku takda, Noni pun tak dapat attend sebab tiba-tiba dapat assignment luar KL.
Apapun, aku berdoa everything will run smooth for her wedding. Harap weather hari tu ok. Tak macam sekarang. Selalu hujan. Harap cuaca tak terik tak mendung tapi nyaman. Agar pengantin, kawan-kawan yang on duty dan guests semua selesa dan happy. Amiin.
Monday, 6 February 2012
Weddings and Emotions.
I absolutely have no problems dealing with questions from friends like "kau bile lagi?".
Some ppl will go totally sentap with that kinda question. I as well do. Sometimes. But not during the time when i am at a wedding.
Here's some of the answer scheme for you girls out there :
1) dgn nada kerek : "kau tanye la tuhan!" - i never use this one.
2) "tunggula kad aku sampai. Haa, nanti jgn lupa pm alamat kat fb k!"
3) "eh, aku rasa aku dah invite everyone kat fb event. Terlepas pandang kot. Haha!" - buat muke gurau.
4) "haa tu la.. Kad xsiap lagi.. Sabar k.."
5) "insyaAllah, insyaAllah.. Tengah kumpul duit sama2 la ni.." - sambil buat muka yakin.
6) yang ni kinda lame : "kad dah ade wei, nama pengantin laki ngan date je belum ade.. Tolong carikkan satu!" - sambil buat muke paling cute yang anda mampu! Hehe.
7) cliche : "belum ada jodoh". Jangan guna jawapan ni, sebab rasa mcm miserable je hidup kau. Padahal ure enjoying singlehood to the utmost! Come onnnnnn!!
Ok, setakat ni, dengan takda draft langsung, ni je yang dapat aku fikir. Haha. Come on, pernah dengar "live your life to the fullest"? Walaupun korang bagi cakap "ive been single for too long". Oh come on!!!!!!! Girls, someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realise why it never worked out with anyone else. :)
My advice : APPLY POSITIVE THINKING!
There's someone out there at the otherside of the world or something, that is made for you.
Allah rancang yang terbaik untuk semua hambaNya.
Cheers!
Happy holidays from me ;
B. Disgrace
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